"Guarding Tess" opens with a dapper and cheery Doug Chesnick (Nicholas Cage) fleeing a three-year stint as Special Agent in Charge, United States Secret Service, during which he was responsible for guarding a recently-widowed former First Lady (Shirley MacLaine) in her mansion in rural Ohio.It's not only ditching the rusticity that puts a spring in Chesnick's step, but the opportunity to flee his employer, the authoritarian, aristocratic former First Lady, who has zeroed in on Chesnick while largely ignoring the rest of her staff. Her specialty, one quickly learns, is what the armed forces call the "psy-op" or, more simply, psychological warfare.
It is part of Tess Carlisle's modus operandi to let Chesnick believe that he is finally free, and waste to his time reporting to Washington for a new assignment. Chesnick yearns to join the elite who guard the President. Instead, in D.C., Chesnick is told that Carlisle already has called the President to request that Chesnick be reassigned to another three-year "tour", a tour of a truly martial sort.
The current President was the late President Carlisle's Veep, which permits Tess to continue to brusquely address him as the underling he always was to her. Tess's wish is the new President's command, not least because it was her private say that got him the winning Carlisle ticket.
In a fury, Chesnick is forced to return to Ohio. A kind of dance of death begins as Tess tries to break the spirit of the Special Agent in Charge, a title she cannot resist deconstructing, while Chesnick's fury mounts and he becomes all the more fanatical about adhering to the strictest (and most deadening) regulations of the Secret Service.
It is quickly apparent that Tess Carlisle is vastly too clever and even (almost secretly) high-minded to have summoned Chesnick as a dimwitted mouse to bat around, yet she sincerely loathes his fastidiousness about seatments in cars and the tedium of being followed and observed 24-7. There is no denying the emotional S&M the Tess and Chesnick mete out, but it is curiously bilateral. For reasons unexplained for much of the film, Tess cannot quite afford to have Chesnick quit (or actually quit, more precisely).
The power struggles that break out over her attempted use of agents as golf caddies and her recurring jailbreaks with a fearful chauffeur are as uproarious as they are petty.
When the humiliated Chesnick is forced "by regulation" to alert the local sheriff, for example, that Tess Carlisle and her driver have lost their detail yet again, the sheriff puts the brokenly dignified agent on speakerphone. The deputies snigger en masse when the Sheriff intones mockingly: "That Mrs. Carlisle sure is slippery...for a senior citizen and all." Formal as always, Chesnick does not permit himself so much as a note of sarcasm in his response. He communicates in rare tics and elaborate, furious pronunciations of basic instructions, but at no time does he debase his office.
Sure enough, Chesnick quits over his inability, courtesy of the eccentric, tantrum-throwing Tess, to do his job "properly" (read: perfectly). And, sure enough, Mrs. Carlisle has the new President on her speed dial.
The calls put through from the President, a snarling and barking Texan, are episodes of comic sublimity. Each time, Chesnick, like virtually anyone other than the formidable Mrs. Carlisle, freezes with terror when told via a sudden phone call to "hold for the President".
The disembodied voice, emanating variously from the Oval Office and from Air Force One, is an uncanny, flawless mimicry of LBJ. Johnson's private threats, manipulations and vaunted coarseness are preserved in an inimitable Texan patois which melds obscenity, patriotism, blackmail and phoney good-ole-boy charm.
The President is required, for example, to investigate Mrs. Carlisle's story that her agent "ripped up some flowers". Chesnick speaks carefully about the distinction between fact and fiction: it was only a single flower, and he merely snapped off the bud. Though the President is whipped by the retired Mrs. Carlisle, he is fully alert to the lunacy of how his time is being wasted. The solution? Fix it, Agent Chesnick, "or next time, you'll be guarding my dog, do you hear me son?"
When we learn at last of the origin of Tess Carlisle's fixation on Agent Chesnick, it is suitably poignant and ennobling. Rather than trying to break him, as it first appears, she is "merely" trying to get him to break the rules. We see Tess at her bullying worst and then her impossibly gracious best, in two very rare encounters with "her" public.
No less a figure than Barbara Bush is said to have told MacLaine that the film was a perfectly accurate rendition of the relationship between agent and protectee. It is very revealing that such a remark should have come from the Grand Dame, Mrs. Bush, who is usually described as being as vicious and petty in private as she is marvellously patrician in public.
The gun Chesnick is required to place on a table outside Mrs. Chesnick's room must go off, by the fifth act, according to the rules of drama. It does, and Chesnick's attention to detail is finally rewarded. Rather than "some sick [sexual] thing" going on, as the President earlier, hilariously, suggests, there is a courtly love which unfolds between Tess and her devoted agent which gives a final unity to this first comic, then poignant story.
Guarding TessScore: 71/100
Guarding Tess is an unexpected and cheery film that has a strong power to be able to mix comedic situations and dramatically emotional scripting. That's quite a plausible thing about this movie, and the rest of it enjoyable too. Even though it lets itself down a couple of times, Guarding Tess is still enjoyable none-the-less, and will appeal to many audiences.
Doug (Nicolas Cage) is a Secret Service Agent who has just completed his stint in charge protecting Tess Carlisle (Shirley MacLaine), widow of a former U.S. President, and close personal friend of the President. He finds that she has requested that he not be rotated but instead return to be her permanent detail. Doug is crushed. He wants off her detail. She is very difficult to guard and makes her detail crazy with her whims and demands. Doug returns with no idea of how to continue dealing with her.
Guarding Tess has most of the things to please a willing audience: an original and effective story, 2 pitch-perfect performances from Nicolas Cage and Shirley MacLaine, some intriguing realistic situations and bright reviews from the critics. I found all of these things to be very impressive facts about the movie, especially the storyline, which dreams up tonnes of ideas as to why Tess should be a pain. The characters are original and you can relate to some of the messes they get into, especially the Doug's craziness of wanting to get away from Tess and do some real Secret Service work. There are a few flaws that stop the movie from being as stunning as their 2 main performers. The comedy never really hits the spot as well as it should. Sure, there are a couple of unashamed giggles, but with a premise so neat, you should expect laughs-out-loud and a lot of them. The film also could've ended better, but you'll still have a good time, guaranteed.
Guarding Tess is a good and old-fashioned movie that has a strong mind to please it's audience. And it does, with charm and style.
